Nope
by L.P. Geon
Summary: There was a portal. Marinette fell into it. Her friends followed. Then Marinette saw some things. [Crack, this fic is pure crack][Part 1 of a series]


"Marinette, are you alright?"

With a groan, more embarrassed than pained, Marinette gave a weak thumbs-up in the general direction Adrien's voice came from. She refused to lift her head from the floor, beyond mortified to show her face ever again.

 _This is just amazing, Marinette,_ she told herself sarcastically, _"Oh no, a mysterious portal appears! Seems dangerous—why don't I just faceplant right into it? That'll be super!"And right in front of Adrien! Oh, he probably thinks I'm an idiot now. He probably hates me now!_

This could not get any worse.

She felt a pair of arms ( _oh my god oh my god is that—? Adrien's touching me!)_ wrap around her and lift her up, just as another pair of voices came from behind, accompanied by a slight vwooping sound that she could only assume was the sound of things passing through the portal.

"What the hell, you guys?!" came Nino's voice, the tone a mix of frustrated and amused. There was a beat of silence, then, "…oh."

"Girl, only you," the smirk was tangible in Alya's voice, "only you can fall face-first into a mysterious, probably deadly por—oh."

 _I'm not sure I'm even alive right now,_ Marinette mused distractedly, head still pointed to the ground, very much aware that Adrien still had his arms around her and had actually pressed her closer to him, _Adrien Agreste is holding me against him and he hasn't let go and I'm pretty sure I've died and—wait, why is everyone so quiet?_

Slowly, she lifted her head and looked around at her friends. They seemed to have frozen in shock where they stood with the portal shining brightly behind them, their mouths slightly open from that final "oh". Confused, she chanced a glance at Adrien and found that, while also obviously shocked, his face was a brilliant shade of red she's never seen before.

They were all looking in one direction. They were all looking like their world had just turned upside-down. Like their whole lives have changed.

In the back of her mind, Marinette thought that whatever had her friends _that_ speechless would probably not do her any good either. Maybe she shouldn't look. She could just turn around and bodily heave her friends back into the portal and just pretend nothing happened.

 _But what's making Adrien blush so hard?!_

This train of thought only took a split-second, and she'd made her decision to look before the last thought even processed.

Oh, what a huge regret that was.

They were still in the same classroom.

And at the very back of the classroom, right where Nathaniel usually sat, were two people wrapped intimately around each other, looking back at them with the same degree of shock on their faces.

Marinette blinked, not quite believing it just yet.

Two people.

Two _very familiar_ people.

Two _very familiar, very flustered looking_ people.

They should be easy to name. Very easy. She knew those two. But it just wasn't clicking.

Because, while seeing another one of _herself_ wasn't anything new to her, seeing another of the person her _other_ self was entangled with ( _intimately_ , did she mention?) was something she just could not reconcile with her brain.

Sure, she's daydreamed about it. Once, twice, many times, maybe. But seeing it right in front of her was just… not… _what is even real?_

Because what she was seeing was so bizarre. A good bizarre? _Bizarre-bizarre_.

Because she was seeing an _Adrien Agreste_ sprawled on top of a _Marinette Dupain-Cheng_. On a school desk, in school, on a seemingly late afternoon. She was seeing both of them looking thoroughly embarrassed, and shocked, and confused, and… _kissed_. They looked thoroughly kissed. The mussed hair, the ruffled clothes, the… _their lips_. Yeah, _thoroughly kissed._ That was the only way to describe how they looked like.

Nobody moved. It felt like an eternity of stillness.

Then, Adrien, the _other_ Adrien, shifted a little to turn to them properly. He cleared his throat and gave an uneasy smile.

Adrien, _her_ Adrien, gave an audible gulp beside her.

"…hi?" the other Adrien croaked out.

"…hi," her Adrien answered, after a few moments.

"'Sup," Nino said, awkwardly.

"Hey," Alya said, just as awkwardly.

The other Marinette groaned, as though in disbelief. "Really, kitty? ' _Hi?'_ "

Marinette stiffened a little, and she felt Adrien beside her tense up. Did she just call Adrien _kitty_?

Other Adrien gave an uncharacteristic splutter, looking affronted, "What else can I say in this situation, my Lady?"

Marinette couldn't stop the squeak at that. What was that? That small exchange sent her mind reeling. As though seeing doubles of her and Adrien post-make out wasn't enough to melt her brain, they just _had_ to make other Adrien act like Chat Noir out of nowhere? _What was that?!_

She felt everyone's eyes on her. She vaguely registered her Adrien's arms slipping from her as she backed away. She needed to get away and process this. She needed to—

"—GO HOME," she practically yelled, and backed away from everyone, from everything, until she stumbled into Nino, and tripped on his foot—

—and fell right back into the portal.

She heard her friends yell her name in worry as she stumbled back, into a familiar area with pink walls and the smell of cookies. She landed on the floor, on her back, and looked up at the ceiling, breathing heavily.

She was in her room. It was all a dream, wasn't it? Some kind of weird, bizarre dream. She must've fallen asleep on the floor of her room. She must've—

"Princess?" she heard a voice say.

 _Wait, what?_

Chat Noir's face came into view, blocking out the light from the ceiling. He looked confused.

What was he doing in her room?

Another head came into view. _Her_ head. Another _other_ her, this time looking at her with suspicious eyes.

What was Chat Noir doing in her room, with other her?

What was even going on anymore?

Marinette shut her eyes. She couldn't deal with this. Her ears picked up vwooping sounds right above her. An exclamation of Chat Noir's name. Her own voice gasping out Alya's name. Chat Noir's voice saying Nino's name. Nino's voice asking why Chat Noir was in her room. Adrien's voice checking if she was alright.

Nope.

Marinette was not alright.

Marinette will never be alright.

Just.

Nope.

* * *

Based on a tumblr post! I can't link on FFnet but there are links on my user profile if you want to know about things. c: Hope you enjoyed this crack fic!


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